On many things

this is very long, about diffrent things. i hope you read it..

my dull life, as i calim it..

maybe its not really dull.. i dont know.. im so tired of thinking because everything always turns out to be very different from what i first thought it was. as of now, i just realized that im stuck up on something, something not good which i just have to let go. i know its wrong but i dont really wanna let go of it. i know the reason why i dont want to and that reason is not good enough to 'hold on'.

its similar to stealing something you only want but you dont really need at all. you are stuck up on that 'object'. well, you know that greed, the reason, is wrong, and you know damn well that stealing is wrong as well.. but you still do it...

if you don't have that 'object' you see your life as dull. im feeling something like that. you simply change the words object, stealing, and greed, and that's what im going through... its not good, but that's life.. and sometimes, just sometimes, i hate it.

my new blog, and the little color of my life

i am really starting to like this template.. i think ill just edit it little by little since my life's having a little color. well actually, it has been there all the time, just haven't been looking at it.. i think i have some sort of sunglasses or something, that's why i dont see all the colors..

hmm, im not giving out many details am i?!

on neil geiman..

i mentioned before that i wanna blog about that 'american gods' novel, well actually, i just wanna quote a few of my favorite lines..

"Hey," said shadow, "Huginn or Muninn, or whoever you are."

The bird turned, head tipped, suspiciously, on one side, and it stared at him with bright eyes.

"Say 'Nevermore.'" said Shadow.

"Fuck You." said the raven...

well, i find that really funny.. i am even lauging as i write this, while i remember bart simpson looking like a raven on that simpson's version of e.a.poe's the raven.

here's another one

...I believe that anyone who says that sex is overrated just hasnt done it properly..."

well, i just wanna quote it, i don't have any comments.

and lastly...

...She went up on tiptoes and kissed Sam, depositing the kiss snugly between Sam's cheek and the corner of her mouth. You can say a lot of things with a kiss like that..."

now im currently reading stardust. i came upon that sex scene with the elf and wow! i was amused. i realized that sex on books is a lot better than on porn.. not because you have it all under control within your imagination, nor because you can discreetly repeat the scene again and again without anyone noticing (as buj would say) but because its very sexy and very UN-lusty. for me at least..

the caller

i HAD this girl highschool caller, not that im proud of it, just that i wanna share it. she's probably 15 years old (hmm...) she claim's she studies in st paul pasig, that her name is cleo, and that she called my phone by accident, looking for a certain guy named mark. well normally, i would put the phone on the knowledge that a wrong number was dialled but this girl went hysterrical and panicky. so, 'amused' by her weird behavior, i started to talk to her and tried to calm her down.. and then she asks all this questions and went on talking with me. well i was having fun talking to her so i just did. i told her at some point that i am 23 and she told me that she was still in HS, and i was expecting that she would put the phone down but she didn't. anyway, she is very highschool and very ma-arte. she speaks this "make tusok-tusok the fishball" language, and i always have this feeling that she impresses me with all her "neat stuff" and how she likes to shop. well i guess that's the fun when you dont exactly know who you are talking to, you can boast all you want, be egoistic, be proud, then stink off, and dont care at all.

after some time, i found out that one of her friends (alex, also a girl) is my neighbor, who's 2 seconds away from our gate. at that point, i felt that everything was a setup. a few weeks ago, my little brother also had a caller who claimed to be alex. i dont know the whole story about that but that was also the time when my dad exchange phone numbers with that neighbor. also, cleo was telling me alot of stuff about me, and my brother's which she found out from alex. so it figures huh?!

anyway, she's good, cleo i mean, id give her that. very good by my standards.. the deception i mean. oh btw, she has a sister who came from berlin. she claims that her sister is very pretty , much prettier than her (she always claims that she-cleo is pretty, hot and sexy). so, hmm, if cleo calls up again, which i doubt, but hope at the same time, id talk to her sister. haha. well would i?! well, she wouldn't call again anyway. so what the heck.

the girl

well, there's this girl i like, and don't like at the same time.. i'am very mean to her, well if she's not around. but if she's there, i cant be mean to her, in fact i cant be anything to her since i cant do anything.. i freeze when she's around. hmm, i heard somewhere "the more you hate, the more you love", but i dont think its that. (so why the fuck do i mention it?! stupid.) anyway, i dont wanna say more since i just might say bad things since she does not know anything about this blog.

about school..

it still sucks. i hate fucking ateneo. i hate being a fuckin atenean. an atenean means that you have rich friends and good connections, and other people thinking that you are better than them. that's what ateneans are known for. i bet that's what people would say when you ask around. when someone says you're an atenean, no one would say "wow, you're a man for others". that would be bullshit. i bet they would say.. "wow ang galing", probably referring to one's technical and bullshitting abilities. i know there are really good people in ateneo, and that there's also knowledge as well as wisdom from that school. but that's a rare find. hmm, maybe not the knowledge, but im sure there are very few wise people in that fucked-up school. there are names who stand out in that school, but after that.. what?! these names would probably rise if these would go to another school.

anyway, im still there. i have no choice, scholarship and stuff (apparently, a reason i should be gratefull that school). i have a 6 unit load and have class only on tuesdays and thursdays 130-3 or 3-430, im still thinking to which class to attend. i dont wanna write anything about school anymore. it pisses me off to see that fucked up place "in general". especially those stupid freshmen. a friend told me that there were these freshmen who was stinkin booze of their bodies early in the morning. well, as for me, i dont really find it wrong to drink in the morning if you like drinking or if you're an alcoholic like jenie, but these kids drank with another reason. its more of a, "hey im a freshman, and i drink before going to school, so i am cool, watcha think? so dont think im a freshman huh?!" fuck you, that makes you more like a grade school student!. hmm, i should stop, i said i dont wanna write anything more.

well, there are good stuff about ateneo, but i dont wanna write it, it ruins the momentum. haha.

on going out

ive been visiting gateway since tuesday. tuesday, i had dinner with xtiane and reserved tickets for wedensday. so wednesday and we watched batman along with mike. had dinner there again yesterday, and just this afternoon i checked if sin city was still.

tomorrow, ill be goin to the fete event. i really dont get it why its required to go there. it would be probably the same as last year (hopefully without the rain), and the year before that. people would be wearing black, with some band name printed on it, have chains attached to their wallet on one end, and to a belt loop on the other end, have their jenas just below their butt crack, smoke weed, drink beer and listen to good music. maybe ill be going because i don't want people telling me 'hah! looser wala sa fete!' or maybe i just wanna listen to good music and hang out with my friends. however, i do know people whose reasons are the former.

i also hope that christiane gets her car pretty soon. and we could have that four day beach outing. well here's the plan the way we really like it, but of course, when the day comes, it wouldn't be as such.. hmm here it goes: have a roof rack placed on the car, and attach surfboards unto it. then come thursday, bring the car with the surfboard's to school! yep, major poser. then when class is over, head straight to the beach. so at the beach, we have lap-tops or so since we should be doing our thesis. we'll leave the beach at tuesday morning then head straight to class. again the surfboards are still on the car.